Skip to main content

Gratitude


True gratitude is a fundamental appreciation for life that runs deeper than the "name one thing you're thankful for" discussion that occurs at the Thanksgiving table. Like optimism and pessimism, gratitude is a matter of perspective.

We rarely recognize just how good we've got it until some of that good is taken from us. Loss makes us acutely aware of what we've previously taken for granted.

I didn't appreciate the natural symmetry of my body until I surrendered a breast to cancer. 

I didn't respect the functional utility of a full head of hair until I had to rely on substandard alternatives to sop up sweat, protect my tender scalp from sun, and keep me warm at night.

I didn't understand how great a miracle it was to conceive and deliver a healthy baby until my unborn daughter was diagnosed with a fatal chromosome disorder.

It's not uncommon to wallow a bit when we suffer a hardship. It's easy to slip into a puddle of self-pity. Normal as it may be to perseverate on our pain, it is not a reaction that serves us well.

The more we ruminate on how difficult our life has become, the more we feel singled out in our misery. Everywhere we look, we see people who have been spared our particular struggle. We sink deeper and deeper into a pit of despair.

Gratitude is the key to short-circuiting this downward spiral. However, cultivating gratitude requires a seismic attitudinal shift. Instead of focusing our attention on our losses, we need to turn it to the blessings that remain in our lives.

It's not always easy to see those little joys, particularly when we're broken and grieving. Yet even in the face of adversity, we can usually conjure a possibility or two that would increase the weight of our burdens.

Imagining these worst case scenarios makes our own problems seem a little bit smaller, and recognizing the good that still exists in our lives re-frames the gradient of our pain in a way that alleviates the uncomfortable symptoms of feeling sorry for ourselves.

There's a kernel of truth in the old saying, "It could always be worse." Practicing gratitude is as simple as using that adage as the lens through which we view our experience.  
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Training for Life

Two years ago a postcard advertising a personal trainer certification program arrived in my mailbox. It wasn’t a particularly noteworthy event, except that instead of throwing it immediately into the recycling bin, I held onto it. And began to do a little research into exactly what the certification process would entail. I couldn’t imagine how I would use said credential, yet the idea of adding personal trainer to my resume nagged at me like an itchy bug bite. I mentioned it to my sister…who promptly agreed to enroll in the program with me. After several months of discomfiting study that filled us both with fears of inadequacy, we completed the coursework. All that remained was the certification exam. My sister went first, early in the morning, and I followed suit on the same day, albeit after lunch. We both passed with flying colors. A few months later we attended our first “Fit Fest,” a weekend of workshops meant to build our skills and knowledge. We were at a distinct d...
Read more

The Curse of Expectation

I had a disappointment last week. I’d submitted my book to an indie writing contest and the winners were to be notified by Thursday. I didn’t get the notification. It’s not that I expected to win. Wait, scratch that. My disappointment indicates that indeed, on some level, I did expect some kind of recognition. Maybe I wasn’t expecting to take the grand prize, but I was hoping for at least an honorable mention. Acknowledging that was the first step in being able to let it go. Once I recognized my expectations as a cry for validation, I saw them clearly as a self-imposed burden of proof meant to silence the inner critic who keeps raising doubts about my writing talents. My disappointment wasn’t about the quality of my work—it was about my need to prove myself. What I am learning—slowly, painfully, and inevitably the hard way—is that disappointment is an inside job, rooted in my expectation of how the events in my life are supposed to turn out. I keep slapping my preconceived...
Read more

Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day. My husband is working today, not that we would have had plans to do anything special. It is, for us, just another weekend, simple and ordinary. Both of us are more pragmatic than romantic in nature. The one time I sent Scott a bouquet, he sold it to a co-worker who'd just had a blow-out with his girlfriend and needed a make-up gift. He did take me out to dinner with the proceeds of the sale, but the writing was on the wall. We would not be a couple who showered each other with sentimental tokens of love. My career path into the kindergarten classroom has ensured a steady stream of gifts and goodies, so I haven't missed out. Every year I am inundated with boxes of chocolates and valentines filled with sweet expressions of the undying affection of my five- and six-year-old friends. I rather enjoy this innocent side of the holiday. Racy lingerie and dirty talk are not my forte. Hand-scrawled hearts and messages of unconditional love and accept...
Read more