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Gratitude


True gratitude is a fundamental appreciation for life that runs deeper than the "name one thing you're thankful for" discussion that occurs at the Thanksgiving table. Like optimism and pessimism, gratitude is a matter of perspective.

We rarely recognize just how good we've got it until some of that good is taken from us. Loss makes us acutely aware of what we've previously taken for granted.

I didn't appreciate the natural symmetry of my body until I surrendered a breast to cancer. 

I didn't respect the functional utility of a full head of hair until I had to rely on substandard alternatives to sop up sweat, protect my tender scalp from sun, and keep me warm at night.

I didn't understand how great a miracle it was to conceive and deliver a healthy baby until my unborn daughter was diagnosed with a fatal chromosome disorder.

It's not uncommon to wallow a bit when we suffer a hardship. It's easy to slip into a puddle of self-pity. Normal as it may be to perseverate on our pain, it is not a reaction that serves us well.

The more we ruminate on how difficult our life has become, the more we feel singled out in our misery. Everywhere we look, we see people who have been spared our particular struggle. We sink deeper and deeper into a pit of despair.

Gratitude is the key to short-circuiting this downward spiral. However, cultivating gratitude requires a seismic attitudinal shift. Instead of focusing our attention on our losses, we need to turn it to the blessings that remain in our lives.

It's not always easy to see those little joys, particularly when we're broken and grieving. Yet even in the face of adversity, we can usually conjure a possibility or two that would increase the weight of our burdens.

Imagining these worst case scenarios makes our own problems seem a little bit smaller, and recognizing the good that still exists in our lives re-frames the gradient of our pain in a way that alleviates the uncomfortable symptoms of feeling sorry for ourselves.

There's a kernel of truth in the old saying, "It could always be worse." Practicing gratitude is as simple as using that adage as the lens through which we view our experience.  
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