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The Real Housewives of BC

My name is Laura and I watch the Real Housewives more regularly than I'd like to admit. I’m a vicarious visitor to Orange County and New York, used to spend a lot of time in New Jersey, and occasionally duck into Atlanta and Beverly Hills, just to see what’s going on.

It is a bit of an addiction, the Housewives series. I was a latecomer to its explosively entertaining parties. I’d never been big on binge watching television and, honestly, it wasn’t until I began treatment for a breast cancer recurrence that I had the capacity and desire to collapse onto the couch and seek mindless diversion.

It didn’t take me long to find the Bravo network, and it was almost impossible not to develop an affinity for their alternate version of female reality. Perpetual reruns of previous episodes got me quickly up to speed on the characters and their almost comically surreal and wacky hi-jinks. I also didn’t have the energy to find the remote and change the channel.

For those who aren't familiar with the “Real Housewives,” each episode follows a group of wealthy, status-driven women as they go about their everyday lives. The typical cast member is drop-dead gorgeous (thanks to a team of highly trained specialists), lives in a sprawling McMansion, and thrives on drama, much of it self-induced.

Because the air time devoted to such a limited segment of the population generates successful ratings, perhaps other special populations should be considered. Given that one out of every eight women will develop breast cancer in her lifetime, a “Real Housewives of BC” franchise seems long overdue. 

The selection criteria would have to be adjusted, however. The real housewives of BC lead lives that are less than glamorous, and they cannot be defined by household spending or societal class. They come in all shapes and sizes and span the spectrum of age. Some of them are even men. 
           
The real housewives of BC juggle grueling treatment schedules with the unceasing demands of daily life. Their calendars are crammed, not with shopping trips and restaurant runs, but with doctors' appointments, diagnostic tests, chemotherapy infusions, and radiation sessions.

The real housewives of BC endure pain, nausea, fatigue, mouth sores, low blood counts, and a host of other unpleasant side effects. They forfeit social engagements and curtail non-essential time commitments, conserving energy for the ones that really matter, which are usually either family- or work-related.

The real housewives of BC don't dress to impress—they sacrifice style for comfort. Their wardrobe is designed not to reveal, but to conceal a variety of imperfections including, but not limited to, surgical sutures, ports placed to facilitate chemo infusions, missing or lopsided breasts, bald heads, and skin ravaged by radiation.

The real housewives of BC experiment with bold jewelry and hip headscarves, painting on faces that make them look like they're not trying to cheat death. They swallow their pride and adapt to unflattering fashion necessities like compression garments to manage lymphedema and silicone pads to fill empty bra cups. They add a steely self-confidence as defensive armor against the slings and arrows of insensitive bystanders.

The real housewives of BC wrangle with insurance companies, stave off collection agencies, and craft living wills. They strike up conversations with strangers in waiting rooms, swap treatment stories, trade tips for managing symptoms, and find solace in solidarity.

The real housewives of BC are, as my former surgeon put it, unwilling volunteers in the study of breast cancer. They pore over pathology reports, recite survival statistics from memory, and weep when they read the obituaries of fellow warriors.

The real housewives of BC are acutely aware that the end of treatment does not guarantee survival. They live in the shadow of cancer, mired in murky uncertainty, and hold their breath through every follow-up scan, wondering and worrying about how long their health and luck will hold out.

A “Real Housewives of BC” franchise might not provide the same kind of escapism as the rest of the series, but it would certainly offer some much needed perspective. Life is messy, complicated, and far more fragile than most people realize.

And in its darkness is where we learn to appreciate the beauty of its light.

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